Untold Podcast

Jeff Ben Wa-lid can't stop fighting with his dad, so his mom sends him to his hippie relative - Uncle Jesus.

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Maybe you've heard of my Uncle Jesus. A lot of people say crazy things about him. One lady asked me if he shot fire out of his eyes and I was all, "Whut? That's whacked, lady!" And then I got into trouble for being disrespectful. I gotta watch it. In Israel 28 AD, you piss off the grown-ups too much and they'll get that whole rock throwing thing going at you, and my dad would be glad to help. 

I'm Jesus's nephew. The name is Jeff, Jeff Ben Wa-lid of the Jerusalem Ben-Wa-lids. My dad is Avram.  My grandfather, Wa-lid, opened a big chain of market places called Wa-lid Marts. Yeah, with that kind of bread, you guessed it, dad became a Pharisee and member of the Sanhedrin. I dunno, I try to listen, I try to be a good son, but when I talk to him about anything, it's like he's speaking a different language. Like yesterday, we were sitting on the roof, having breakfast and he turned to me and said, "Greyt oyf dayn shtudium?"  (So how's school?)

I mean, seriously…What's he saying?

I relate to my mom a lot easier. But she still gets after me.

"Jeff, it is not good that you quarrel with your father so much. By all that is holy, I say you will be the death of each other."

A young performer comes up with a plan to change the negative perception of clowns.

untold_podcast_-_the_redemption_of_the_clown.mp3 File Size: 22532 kb File Type: mp3 Download File (Right Click to Save)

“It is the worse time to be a clown.” I said to Doodle.

The aged clown sighed and leaned back as far as he could on the three-legged stool. He only wore the faintest amount of greasepaint: Blue diamonds around his eyes and a thin black and red smile touching each cheek. “Listen Knicknack, clowns have been around since ancient Greece. We’ve survived empires and wars. We can survive a few scary movies.”

“A few scary movies?” I said. “It’s more than that! Ringling Brothers closed last year! The clown association has lost half of it’s membership in five years. Half! And even McDonalds ended their Ronald program. There’s nowhere else for us to go except these run-down mom-and-pop circuses, Doodle!”